DRIVING TEST

WENDY: There's a red light.

JASON: Fantastic! Let's have a Chinese fire drill. You can jump in the driver's seat if you like.

WENDY: No, Jason. I'd have to mark that as a dangerous fault, which would mean instant failure. Let's stay in the car and wait patiently for the lights to change.

JASON: Boring.

WENDY: Oh my God, that's exactly what Lizzy says about me too. I've become a clone of my mum!

(OLD LADY sits in rear of vehicle.)

OLD LADY: Take me to the bingo hall immediately, driver! I'm feeling lucky.

WENDY: This is a driving test not a taxi.

OLD LADY: Really? I'm terribly sorry... Can you take me to the library then?

JASON: I think there's a pensioner in the car!

WENDY: Keep calm, Jason. (To Old Lady.)I'm sorry, you'll have to leave the car.

OLD LADY: You certainly won't be getting a tip from me if this is your attitude.(Clutching head.) Oh, the pain! It's my heart.

WENDY: You're clutching your head.

OLD LADY: The pain is travelling quickly all around my body. You wouldn't kick a seriously ill elderly lady out into the cold, would you?